This is an interesting one! I started with the riff and was making a calm song with a drifting vocal when I decided: no, this needed to be a banger. I started singing a few other vocal melodies from songs that I thought fit over it and started working something out on piano to mimic them. Then I arranged in it spectacular 2000s ballad fashion. Lyrically, this deals with an old relationship of mine in which nothing was really wrong, no one was at fault, but I came to realize that I didn't feel a meaningful connection with the other person and that they were far more interested in me than I was in them. So, it's about kind of having to be the bad guy and ruin this perfect thing all because you're just not into it.
I usually reference one or two or three songs or artists when I make a song but there were like seven individual songs that I drew some kind of inspiration from with this one and they are as follows
mxmtoon - Dream Of You (same/similar chord progression)
James Blunt - You're Beautiful (verse melody was a direct result of trying to copy this song)
Simple Plan - Welcome To My Life (similar chord progression and inspiration in the chorus melody)
M2M - Pretty Boy (sang this over the riff and drew inspiration from how the melody changes)
Weezer - Peace (the acoustic guitar paired with the riff is very much like this song)
Tegan and Sara - Where Does The Good Go (the chorus has a bit of a similar melody and feel to this)
The Regrettes - I Dare You (the use of synth bass as well as the pattern it plays in the verse is directly inspired by this)
lyrics
Verse 1:
I'm done with all of this
So baby, here it is
An acknowledgement that I was all wrong
Don't wanna spell it out
But my brain has made it loud
To be honest, I should've known all along
Cause I'm no good, I've never been
I should've stayed alone instead
I wasn't ready and I never am
I'll knock your dreams into the dirt
I'll paralyze my own self worth
Whatever happens, we'll both end up hurt
Chorus:
You know you shouldn't stick around
To see this out, to see this out
It's my fault that you're in the ground
And I'm not proud, and I'm not proud
Verse 2:
Believe me cause I've tried
The tear stain never dries
Again, I've made myself the bad guy
I'll get back to keeping score
More broken than before
And I'll promise I won't do this anymore
Oh look, I've done that thing again
Where I'm at fault, but I feel like the victim
I see all of your patience wearing thin
I start these things without a thought
You're into this and suddenly I'm not
Goddammit, I'm never happy with what I've got
Chorus:
You know you shouldn't stick around
To see this out, to see this out
It's my fault that you're in the ground
And I'm not proud, and I'm not proud
I think it's better if I go
If I just throw this awful show
I must be better off alone
I didn't know I'd go this low
credits
from 50/90 2020,
track released July 10, 2020
John Vermeersch: guitars, bass, keyboard, vocals, and drum loop
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