1. |
Old Mistakes
02:53
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Verse 1:
All my own needs conflict with
The stupid shit I wanted
I'm walking to the graveyard
Stepping on my own trap cards
Chorus:
I'm seeing red
My head's a prison
Of old mistakes
Left unforgiven
Verse 2:
I'm stuck with longtime grudges
I didn't want this, fuck this
I really can't complain, they're from my own mistakes
I stay obsessed with everything I break
Chorus:
I'm seeing red
My head's a prison
Of old mistakes
Left unforgiven
Post-Chorus:
And I can't take back everything
No, I can't take back anything
*solo*
Chorus:
I'm seeing red
My head's a prison
Of old mistakes
Left unforgiven
Post-Chorus:
And I can't take back everything
No, I can't take back anything
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2. |
Am I Allowed?
02:41
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Verse 1:
Am I allowed to be happy now?
After everything I've done
Am I still haunting your every dream?
A sad reminder it was fun
Chorus:
But you don't care (You don't)
You don't care (You don't)
You can't care how I live my life
You don't care (You don't)
You don't care
But I've convinced myself you do
Verse 2:
Is this allowed to be over yet?
Am I allowed to be myself?
Without the weight of that awful guilt
To render me a hollow shell
Chorus:
But you don't care (You don't)
You don't care (You don't)
You can't care how I live my life
You don't care (You don't)
You don't care
But I've convinced myself you do
Bridge:
But you're not the one to blame
I'm my own damn ball and chain
And I hate myself too much to stop the pain
*breakdown*
Verse 3:
Am I allowed to be happy now?
Do I have the goddamn right?
Am I allowed to be anything?
But self destructive every night
Chorus:
But you don't care (You don't)
You don't care (You don't)
You can't care how I live my life
You don't care (You don't)
You don't care
But I've convinced myself you do
Bridge:
But you're not the one to blame
I'm my own damn ball and chain
And I hate myself too much to stop the pain
*breakdown/outro*
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3. |
Starlight Inside
03:02
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Verse 1:
A new charade is just a world away
But when I get there, I don't wanna stay
My tongue's tied, twisted, up too late
I've come to realize that I'm not a saint
Chorus:
Sometimes I just want to cry
Look at the sky
See constellations like your eyes
Starlight inside
I don't care
This don't make sense
I'm getting more
But wanting less
I'll never stay here with you
Verse 2:
I don't wanna think about what it means
A nostalgic yet foreboding dream
I'm a scattered mess of broken parts
Thanks to the keeper of my stolen heart
Chorus:
Sometimes I just want to cry
Look at the sky
See constellations like your eyes
Starlight inside
It's disappointing
Cause it seems
Your boy's a
Broken heart machine
He'll never stay here with you
*solo*
Bridge:
But you can't have me
I'm so sorry
Chorus:
Sometimes I just want to cry
Look at the sky
See constellations like your eyes
Starlight inside
I don't care
This don't make sense
Cause I'm an endless source
Of constant stress
And you can't have me
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4. |
Never Tell
02:42
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Verse 1:
I've never felt this way
My heartbeat speeds up, it's too late
Now I can never say
What's been on my mind the last hundred days
I love you, I love you
But she loves you too
Now I'm gonna stay up way too late
Just wondering what to do
Chorus:
I tripped and fell
No surprise, serves me well
I want to yell
But I'll still never tell
Verse 2:
I'm making mental notes
Of the reasons why you let me go
Been making lists for days
But not a single list could make you stay
You're leaving, so goodbye
I'm sorry I'm so shy
I love you, I love you
But I'm not quite sure why
Chorus:
You turned the page
Then came back, watched me age
It's not a phase
Turn around, say my name
Cause I tripped and fell
No surprise, serves me well
I'll cry and I'll yell
But I'll still never tell
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5. |
Do I Want This?
01:56
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Verse 1:
I just don't want what I wanted
(Left, right, up, down, I'm undecided)
Stunted, locked out, frozen solid
(Unclear, vague, afraid, and excited)
Pre-Chorus:
Should I risk everything to change this?
Turn it upside down
Verse 2:
Tied noose, I'm stuck on the labels
(Can't decide? You know you better think twice)
One move and I'm getting strangled
(Be yourself: Small, quiet, stuck in the ice)
Pre-Chorus:
Either way, someone's gonna hate me
Throw it at the ground
Chorus:
Weighing the odds (I do)
Pros and the cons (I do)
I can't decide if I want it
Stay in your lane (I do)
Going insane (I do)
I can't decide if I want this
Verse 3:
I'd change in a day if you gave me
(One wish, one desire I could make real)
But I know no one can save me
(Fuck the others, you should do what you feel)
Pre-Chorus:
Should I risk everything to change this?
Turn it upside down
Chorus:
Weighing the odds (I do)
Pros and the cons (I do)
I can't decide if I want it
Stay in your lane (I do)
Going insane (I do)
I can't decide if I want this
Can't even try (I do)
Screaming and crying (I do)
Really, I know that I want it
Sleep every day (I do)
Dream this away (I do)
Really, I know that I want this
*solo*
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6. |
Ideal Self
03:27
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Verse 1:
I'm leaving, I guess
I shouldn't keep another secret, confessed
that everything I do is trauma reruns
It seems like being honest won't be too fun
Pre-Chorus:
Whatever I do, it all explodes
I've never been good at letting go
Even when all the cracks start showing
I hurt everyone and they hurt me
A self fulfilling prophecy
This isn't who I want to be
Chorus:
Because my ideal self
Would take the problem away
She'd be attentive and kind
She'd take away all the pain cause
She wouldn't be masochistic
She'd pick up on every instinct
And she would be honest with you
And her own feelings
Verse 2:
The mirror's not my friend
It's got me thinking that I'm uncute again
It's got me looking like a dirtbag asshole
I guess that's true because I'm not in control
Pre-Chorus:
I always look fresh out of bed
My eyes are hollow, grey, and dead
I walk like a zombie full of lead
I wish that I felt more full of life
Energy levels maxed out like
I had a reason to look nice
Chorus:
Because my ideal self
Would feel much better than me
She'd rock a confident look
And pull off everything cause
She wouldn't reflect self hatred
If something was wrong, she'd change it
She wouldn't be so damn jaded
Over her past mistakes
*Devotion type solo*
Bridge:
But I'm stuck with this
Bruised, broken body
And I push away
The ones who want me
Rotting out my bones
My brain is useless
Trauma-ridden, mean,
And ineffective
Chorus:
Because my ideal self
Would be stable and nice
She'd be successful and smart
She wouldn't fuck this up twice cause
She wouldn't be that much like me
And she wouldn't need "I'm sorry"
Perfect, pretty, chill, and carefree
She's nothing like me
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7. |
Scumbag
01:33
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Verse 1:
I'm a heartbreaker, babe
But I'm no fucking liar
You broke your back
And now I guess I should retire
Chorus:
I'm guess I'm leaving
Guess I finally wrecked another
Potential good thing
I guess we hate each other
Verse 2:
I'm a heartbreaker, babe
And I'm a fucking scumbag
And trying to escape this
Murder scene is such a drag
Chorus:
I'm guess I'm leaving
Guess I finally wrecked another
Potential good thing
I guess we hate each other
*breakdown*
Chorus:
I guess I'm leaving
So goodbye
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8. |
Hit Me Where It Hurts
01:41
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Verse 1:
Every single day you walk
Dead eyed and lonely down the block
I want to find the words to say
To get you looking right my way
Chorus:
Cause your eyes hit me where it hurts
And letting go would make everything worse
Oh baby
I want you to know
Verse 2:
That I admire you so much
And I'd like to keep in touch
I'd interested in all your interests
You're so considerate
Chorus:
And your eyes hit me where it hurts
I'm so obsessed with you, I wrote a second verse
Oh baby
I want you to know
*solo*
Verse 3:
I never want you to go home
Move away and leave me alone
Though I worry I'm not good enough
To really be the one
Chorus:
But your eyes hit me where it hurts
And letting go will make everything worse
Oh baby
I want you to know
Cause your eyes hit me where it hurts
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9. |
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Nice hat, did you find it in the Applebee’s parking lot?
I’m sure you’d know since it’s your favorite wi-fi spot
You are my nemesis, my sworn foe
Running this arms race, forever
This is how I’m gonna make you know
Just 1v1 Me!
Not holding back, cause I’ve just stocked up: $600 of gamer fuel
I hope you don’t think you can beat me, cause if you do, then you’re a fool
Ya? - Ya
I’m gonna clean out the casual trash so you better get outta my spawn
I got the Baja Blast and a 3 prong controller drawn
You are my natural primal enemy
I will not ever lose to, you
You’re gonna need to get some therapy
Just 1v1 Me!
I’ve invested in this game for so long
And you’re just a free-to-play
If you think that you can win, you’re so wrong
You know I’m gonna mop the floor (Don’t think you’re gonna win now)
NO ITEMS - FOX ONLY - FINAL DESTINATION
Rival would be too light a term for you
You are the antagonist
Hop on Nuketown, here’s what you do
Just 1v1 Me!
I know it’s true - You’re player two
But if you gotta see - Just 1v1 Me
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John Vermeersch Shoreview, Minnesota
Thanks for stopping by! These are my demos, so if you're new here, I recommend checking out my band instead: lonelyenclave.bandcamp.com
John Vermeersch recommends:
Lonely Enclave
by Lonely Enclave
Our first album is a raw piece of garage (er, basement) rock, heavily inspired by Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Weezer. It's rough, but it's free, and in my biased opinion, worth a listen.
go to albumIf you like John Vermeersch, you may also like:
Two dozen 12-string acoustic improvisations that feel undeniably haunting, like lost transmissions from ancient Appalachia, rediscovered.
go to album
Paint by Numbers, Vol. 1
by Goon
A home recorded EP of gauzy and melodic grunge expands the definition of the genre the with layers of sound, synths, and atmosphere.
go to album
Talking Secret - Single
by MILLY
Dreamy, hallucinogenic shoegaze and slowcore on this single from L.A.’s Milly, with syrupy guitars and woozy vocals.
go to album
On “Somersault,” the Brooklyn band add shading and nuance to their melancholy guitar pop.
go to album
The Siberian band offers nine dark dance tracks that conjure spectral images of dive-y spaces filled with people who like their club music served with a good dose of melancholy
go to album
